he's my favorite anime!!!

Thursday, August 13, 2015

Express the words


Football field always full with teenagers who used to play a football game. They always play the game after the school has finish. The teenagers from 'Kampung Semangat Waja' was grouping into two groups. The first group would be the teenagers at the age seven until 11 years old. This group is younger than the teenagers from the other group. Most of the teenagers from the second group are labelled themselves as Gen Y. It shows that the teenagers from this group is at the age around 15 until 21 years old. Gen Y and Z has different personality. As peoples nowadays can see, Gen Baby Boomers, Gen X and Gen Y have their own personalities. Even among of the peoples for that group also has differences.

       At the corner of the field, it seems a young boy who sit on the chair. He was looking around. Looking around just like nothing has happened at the field. He looked at the field with blank view. He is nine years old. He still study at primary school. He was a good student at school. During his year 1 and 2, he got awards from the school based on his academic achievement. Peoples surrounding him used to call him Martin. That is his English name. He is a Malay boy but looks like European peoples. That is because his grand father was a Poland and meanwhile his grand mother was a Malaysia. His grand parents was met between each other while they were studied in the United Kingdom. That was 53 years back story.

     Martin, his Malay name is Isma. He kept looking around while throwing the stone in front of him. Suddenly, his friend name is Syukur comes to him. Syukur is inviting Martin to play together with them. But, it seems he refusing the invitation. Syukur looked at Martin. Ada wandering if Martin have a problem. Syukur can see Martin's water face. His face looked different compared to the moment they were planning to join the football game.

     "Martin, does you have something to share with me?, If yes, please let me know okay." said Syukur. 'I have to go first because they are waiting for me, they don't have enough player, I have to play, I will get you later" said Syukur while walking slowly to the field. Syukur feeling weird with Martin because he never see Martin be like that.

Martin looked at Syukur without saying anything.

     Without realizing, Martin talk to himself. "Sometimes, I am weird why people calling me Martin. I am not English people. But they used to called it since I am young. I know that my grand parents was mixed marriages but not me!. Somehow, I just accept when peoples called me Martin. My parents is the one who start it. 

     All of sudden, Martin leave the field. He leaves without telling Syukur. He feel so stress about himself. He can't focus on the game. He doesn't have good mood to play the game. He think it would be better for him to go home. Syukur realize that Martin just left him alone with another team mate. Syukur shook his head and he know that Martin have a problem. They know each other for a long time. Since they were three years old. Syukur knows how Martin would behave due to any situation. Martin and family were moved into that village because of work. Martin's father were got a job at the nearby town. Meanwhile, Martin's mother were a housewife. On top of that, Martin's only have one younger brother and younger sister.

     Martin walk slowly. His house is near to the field. So, it shouldn't be a problem for him to go to the field for everyday. His mother also don't have any problem with that. He go directly to his room and take out a paper and pencil. Without wasting the time, he write a letter quickly to his cousin. His cousin's name is Emma. Emma is 11 years old. When they both were babies, they used to play together but they couldn't remember most of the memories that they had together because of aging factor. As they remembered, they always play together when their parents meet each others. Rarely contact each other because of the distance. They don't have hand phone. Their family don't allowed them to have hand phone since they are still young.

     Emma also a good student in her school. But only received awards for one time. That was during her standard 4. She quite good in making a good relationship with her school mates and the teacher. That made she almost known by all teachers and students at the same age with her


Letter -
Dear Emma,

Hey! How are you doing? I hope you are good since you already become more fatter than those days. Hehe. Don't get mad okay, I am just kidding! hahaha =) Okay, actually I have something to share with you. For me, it might be seriously because I really hope into that. Hope my story in this letter would find you to understand my situation. You know, it's not a big problem but because of some reasons that I couldn't tell you in this letter it makes me think about it most of the time.

     Okay, get to the main point. Sometimes, I do feel that the environment is not supporting me. I think you know what I want to tell you but it's okay to make it clear I will tell you everything, for the time being. My issue is I have weak communication skills especially in English. I admitted that our grand father was the United Kingdom peoples but it's not a matter. I have an intermediate level of English. Our grand parents history doesn't affect in this story. The problem is me. You know that my English communication is weak, so I planned to speak in English with my friends. But the thing is I felt like they were not supporting me. I am not sure why that is happen. I am scared you know. I am looking forward to apply one of the boarding schools in Kuala Lumpur. Then, I must have a good English. 

     When I can't speak English as my daily language I felt down. I am scared that peoples surrounding me will look down at me after that. I believe, my English wouldn't improve if I didn't practice my speaking skills. That's why I really need a supportive environment. Honestly speaking, I really wanted to speak just like our grand parents'. They all good. But you know, some people will look down to another when they know their English is not as they expect it to be. Especially, when they think that I should have a fluent English when looked our family history. The issue is my mother used to speak in Malay at home even she knows how to speak English. It is because she wants us to fluent in Malay language. Same goes to my father. They both only speak in English when they are talking to their friends. But somehow, there is a time they do speak in English with me. They know that English is important but still want to use Malay while at house. I am okay with that since they talked in English with me sometimes. That is not a big problem actually.

     This is just a thought. Maybe they don't feel just like what I feel. We will see how it goes in. Moreover, I had added it as a key performance indicator for myself. I have my on mission in my life. What I really want to achieve is the advanced level of English. I just want to feel confident while talking to other peoples in English. Sometimes, I don't feel confident to speak with them. Because they make me feel confused. The thing is my close friend in my home town can speak English with another friend when they met. Emma, I don't mind how they going to speak but as long as they can express what they say.

     For your information, I don't have too many friends among the villages. I used to speak in English with you even I know that my English is worst. But, for me nothing will improve if a person doesn't practice her/his speaking skils.

     Last but not least, please reply to this message whenever you are free. Looking forward to your next e-mail Emma!

Thank you,


As I finish write the letter to Emma, I folding the letter and put it into the envelope. I am going to ask my father to send the letter to my cousin, Emma. Hopefully, my father is willing to help me since I don't have any vehicle to go to town.

*To be continued
*the characters in this story is fictional tapestry, nothing to do with anyone. If there are any questions, please contact me via email - ahzhannan@gmail.com

Thursday, July 30, 2015

I am coming now!!!_Seventh post from my second blog


** This post was wrote on my second blog too. I couldn't remember in what date. Just copy it here since I delete the other account.
And Nowww!

I am here again!
haha after a long time I didn't upload or update anything from myself..

coihhh today, I think it is the day for me to update....

many thing was happened in this few months,

from my self especially, my love story, my working life, and my family as well.

I think, there are few things that I might update.

So, wanna know what is all about?

Hehe Just keep on reading my blog...But that is only happen when you have the feeling to read my blog. My 'boring' blog.....Choiii...

p/s - I'll try to write in english because I want to polish my english. Since I have finish my study, so this is the time for me to maintain my second language. I knew, my english is not good but then I tried to keep it up from day to day. May God ease.


Mom and Dad_ Sixth post from my second blog


*** As I copied this post from my second blog (the blog was deleted), the below post actually wrote when I was in UNIMAS during my one month holiday. I didn't went back to Kedah during that time. With intent, I can distribute the Questionnaire during that time. Now, suddenly I remembered how hard to distribute Questionnaire on that time.

Mom and Dad...
I miss both of u
I wish both of u are beside on me right now
Even we doesn't saying anything..
But at least we can facing each other.
But usually, we didnt just keep quiet.

We always have things to chatting
Especially me, I always stirring both of u even there is noting to say.
Just cakap-cakap merapu even call urs name in many time.

Oh Mom and Dad,
This post shows how much I miss you.
I have my own reasons why I am not going back
But the reasons are not achieving yet.

May Allah ease my task in here.
I can do it at our hometown but I just don't want to be rushing in doing all that kind of things.
This picture taken on my sister's wedding

If only I have my own car or motorcycle_fifth post from my second blog


** Also from the previous post in my second that had been deleted.

Assalamualaikum and Hye to the person who willing to read my bad writing

At this time, my hope is to have my own car or motorbike so that I am able to go anywhere that I like. Because as a human being, not all the time I can stay with others. I need to have my own time such lepaking at the beach even sea as well. One more thing I would like to do is just lepak at a park without doing nothing. Urghhh this situation will do by me once I felt stress or nothing to do at home. Me, myself prefer to go to this kind of places than go to shopping complex.

But sometimes, be along with others is the best way.
However, it depends on the MOOD.

as I wrote on the topic, here is......

a car...

A motorbike as well but this motorbike just in my dream, unable to ride these kind of motorbikes

hehe do I ?

Always imagine am riding this motorbike with the suit.

* My weekend just stuck at home.
* But suddenly, feeling like to go ferry place.

Life.._fourth post from second blog


** Also from the previous blog.

sometimes the event that happened in my life was not expected by me..
But these are the things that I want in my life. 

This is the way that I can use to myself in order to do something to my Uni and faculty.
I might cannot give something due to my study but at least my contribution towards my Uni and faculty is come from my co curriculum....

 I admitted study is more important but student need to have a good soft skills..
The soft skills level of a student can know by joining Uni activities life....

I try to adapt into myself in order to make me feel comfortable.. 
I try to manage my time..

It was changed...
but it cannot change my attitudes towards someone or something that 
I always do before this.

* merapu ni.... I do not have idea to write but I have a lots of story...

   lemme show you my team...

A note for you my friend_third post from my second blog


** Also from the previous post. I couldn't remember the exact date.

How are you at there? 

my prayer that you're happy =)

Like once you know 
Whereas you are one of the people that I love 

But I was not able to 
Not able to speak 
My tongue seem like speechless to invite you to the path blessed

I am not a good friend 
When you rejoicing
I can not follow you 
Because I do not have what you got 

Indeed, in my heart I want to state that this longing
At the same time, the feelings of hate and anger come
Not hate like hates Ali to Abu
But this this is love hate between friend

I know
It is not taught by the religious nature of our
But I can not afford to suppress this
When I saw you together with others to do things I do not like

True, I am not a good friend
Capable in all respects your rebuke

Because I'm scared
I fear that our relationship was falling apart
But when the thought of
No one suppose that because of their distance from good intentions
Intention to jointly repair

I am sad to see them when you invite
You as agreed
Open-minded is the key to you

But not in all things that we can be open minded friends
Because we are different from them
Their ways id different from us

I do not want to stopping you
But just want to commemorate you
So that one day you will remember me
I am the one who like to criticizing you
In you do not like

I hope
You will using the knowledges that you have now
In the old days later
I will not interfere with your life
Perhaps forever

My advice,
Remember your parents
Remember our messenger, Rasulullah
Remember Allah

That is the key to success
World and the hereafter
God willing.